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Tuesday, July 30, 2013

AN AADHAAR LESS HUMOR

A Scene in 2020...long after AADHAAR CARD becomes a scary reality! (humor submitted by a friend from North Potomac, MD):

Operator: Hello Pizza Bhatt! How may I help you sir?
Customer: Hello, can you please take my order?
Operator : Can I have your multi purpose Aadhar card number first, Sir?
Customer: Yeah!  Hold on.....My number is 889861356102049998-45-54610
Operator : OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Your home
                  number is 40942366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is
                  0142662566. You are calling from you home number now.
Customer: (Astonished) How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator : We are connected to the system, Sir.
Customer: I wish to order your Cheese Supreme Pizza...
Operator : That's not a good idea Sir.
Customer: How come?
Operator : According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and
                  even higher cholesterol level, sir.
Customer: (Exclaims) What the? Ok...What do you recommend then?
Operator : Try our Low Fat Kairabut Mee Pizza. You'll like it.
Customer: How do you know for sure?
Operator : You borrowed a book titled 'Popular Kairabut Dishes' from the National
                  Library last week, sir.
Customer: OK I give up... Give me three family sizes then.
Operator : That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is Rs. 2,450.
Customer: Can I pay by credit card?
Operator : I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit
                  and you owe your bank Rs. 1,51,758 since October last year. That's not
                  including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.
Customer: I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash
                 before your guy arrives.
Operator : You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've exhausted even your overdraft
                  limit.
Customer: Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it
                  gonna take anyway?
Operator : About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and
                  collect it on your antique Royal Enfield motorcycle.
Customer: What?
Operator : According to the details in the system , you own a motorcycle registration
                  number 1123.
Customer: "????" (hmmm.. these guys know my motorcyle number too!)
Operator : Is there anything else, sir?
Customer: Nothing! By the way... aren't you giving me the 3 free bottles of cola?
Operator : We normally would sir, but based on your records, you're also a diabetic.
                  In the best interest of your health, we are not offering it for you.
Customer: ***%&$%%### You $##$%%@!)))
Operator: Better mind your language sir. Remember on 15th July 2017 you were
                 imprisoned for 2 months and fined Rs.5,000 for using abusive language
                 against a traffic constable?

Customer faints.......!!!!

Saturday, July 27, 2013

THE INDECENT INDIAN WRITERS

Before anyone starts taking cudgels on me for the title, let me clarify! This post is intended as an expose of only the new breed of devil-may-care, self-styled, prurient purveyors like Pratibha Ray (Yajnaseni The Story of Draupadi), Pradip Bhattacharya and writers in Boloji.com such as Indrajit Bandhopadhyay and Satya Chaitanya. No wonder most of these pseudo-intellectuals seem to hail from West Bengal or Kerala, the two communism infested states. Since communism is also known to be quite irreverent to any tradition, it comes as little shock that it is a breeding ground for such warped minds. Even more alarming is the shameless support they receive from some arguably well informed Indian literary circles as well as the ever publicity hungry establishment.
 Draupadi in Tears, possibly due to new wave Indian writers! (courtesy Ravi Varma)

It is good that we have such strong sentinels of Indian tradition and folklore such as Dr. Indulata Das, who can bring to light the abyss to which many of these so-called acclaimed writers have taken Indian literature. But we need more such people and an active movement to prevent abject distortion of hoary Indian scriptures and literature in the name of fanciful flights of imagination or unbridled modern thought. Even though there's a lot of hue and cry against press censorship, I feel it's time we ought to impose severe literary censorship to prevent such elite rakes from twisting the tale(s) to their toxic tastes, so to say.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

STAGFLATION INDIA?

The term stagflation was first coined by British Conservative Party politician Iain Macleod, according to the Douglas Harper Online Etymology Dictionary. Macleod, as the opposition spokesman on treasury and economic affairs in the House of Commons used this word in 1965 while attacking the government's economic policy for promoting stagnation and inflation. Collins English Dictionary defines stagflation as a situation in which inflation is combined with falling output and employment.

Is India facing the stark reality of such a stagflation? Chakravarthi Rangarajan, the chairman of the Prime Minister's Economic Advisory Council (PMEAC), spilled the beans in February in his paper titled 'Growth and Austerity: The Policy Dilemma'. "It is pertinent to note that stagflationary tendencies have already reared their head in emerging markets, like India, where financial intermediation was never a problem," he wrote, creating quite a flutter.Whereas we have assurances from the Finance Ministry that India will achieve its fiscal goals by Financial Year 2014, one has to only look at the looming statistics below that could indicate otherwise:

Sunday, July 21, 2013

COMPUTER PUNDIT LAUNCHED

COMPUTER PUNDIT (aptly named Clog) is being launched today. Like its other cousin Pundit blogs, hopefully it rakes in many page views. At least, that's what the pretty parrot in the logo seems to have picked from the KILI JOSYAM type prediction cards.

KAVIGNAR VAALI LAST RESPECTS

Last Respects to the departed soul of Kavignar Vaali, payed by many Cine Artistes and admirers (videos courtesy of India Glitz and Behindwoods):

Thursday, July 18, 2013

CINE LYRICIST VAALI NO MORE

INDIA PUNDIT DEEPLY REGRETS THE PASSING AWAY OF KAVIGNAR VAALI aka T.S. RANGARAJAN AT 82 TODAY EVENING AT 5:10 PM. VIDEO PUNDITPHOTO PUNDIT AND POEM PUNDIT PAY EARLY TRIBUTE. DETAILED TRIBUTE FOLLOWS.
On other blog news, WORLD PUNDIT and VEDIC PUNDIT have been updated as well.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

HUMOR BREAK!

Take a Happy Break* I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she's interested in, she said:  Check Books.

* The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of new cars.

* What is the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.

* What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.

* Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal.

* Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?
New employee: Yes, sir.
Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.

* Banta enters kitchen, opens sugar container, looks inside and closes it. He does this again and again. Why? Because his Doctor told him to check sugar level regularly.

Monday, July 15, 2013

ONE THIRUPPATHI, TWO MIRACLES

Thiruppathi/Thirumala, the divine abode of Lord Venkateshwara or Srinivasa is in itself a miracle. Comprised of seven verdant hills called Venkataadri, Seshaadri, Narayanaadri, Vrishbaadri, NeeLaadri and Anjanaadri (adri means hill), this Vaikunta on Earth (Bhooloka) houses one of the richest temples in the world and a God who grants boons to His devotees in a jiffy, though after testing their mettle. Having married Padmavathi Mangathaayaru in Thiruchanoor near Lower Thiruppathi, He stands a tall the hill with his two consorts on either side of his broad chest, with one hand pointing to His Lotus Feet (मामेक शरणं व्रज) and the other hand protecting us as Abhaya Hastam. And the two videos below add to this self-manifest wonderment that is Thiruppathi itself (view'N'joy):
Lord_Venkateshwara's_Face UFO@Thiruppathi

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

A JUGGERNAUT RATH YATRA

Puri (Orissa) Jagannatha Temple's annual Rath Yatra started with all pomp and grandeur yesterday. As many of you know, the term Juggernaut is derived from Jagannath chariot (or Rath) and is used to represent a merciless and unstoppable destructive force. So by the very definition, it is little wonder that it continues with unstoppable success every year.

Rath Yatras emulating Puri are conducted by Lord Krishna devotees (specially ISKCON) elsewhere in India (for example in Ahmedabad, Gujarat) and all over the world, including London, UK, Sophia, Bulgaria and Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, USA. This video on 2010 Los Angeles Rath Yatra details how the Rath was assembled and contains demonstration scenes by Christian faith groups.

The three presiding deities of this temple are Jagannath (Lord Krishna), Balarama and Subhadra. In mythological lore, they are also called as Vatabhadra, Balabhadra and Subhadra. Since triangle is considered the most basic of stable geometric shapes, triangulation is the preferred method to ascertain the spatial location any object and the triforce of gravity, electromagnetism and quantum permeates all creation, the triad of these deities represent all of creation's primordial forces. They can also be said to represent the inaccessible heavens, intervening space and habitable worlds or God, Law and Creation. Since Balarama is considered the avatar of Adisesha serpent himself, the term sesha meaning both subservient and remainder, it is only apt that he represents all that would sustain creation, apart from the self existing Lord. Subhadra, on the other hand, is our hope for obtaining the grace of the Lord.

With these words of meditation in mind, let us enjoy the slideshow below:

Puri Lord Jagannath is a deity worshipped primarily by Hindu people, mainly in the Indian states of Orissa, West Bengal, Jharkhand, Bihar, Assam, Manipur and Tripuraand by Hindus in Bangladesh. Jagannath(a) means Lord of the Universe

INDIA COULD BE A POLICE RAJ?

It's surprisingly coincidental that after yesterday's post in World Pundit about airport police carting away a kid passenger from the Asiana plane crash, another one about police excess in Rajasthan caught my eye in the Indian news today. What a luck! But looking beyond such marring incidents, I am quite convinced that we can truly salute police forces everywhere in the world, for their duty consciousness and supreme sacrifice in some daring encounters with criminal elements and terrorists.

I do see many videos about Indian police brutality in you tube, but the one showing a confrontation with the lawyers (the other pillar of the judicial system) and within the !force themselves! is genuinely interesting:

Saturday, July 06, 2013

REMEMBERING SAROJA PARASARAN

இன்றோடு இருவருடம் என்தாய் எனைப்பிரிந்து  
அன்றாடம்  ஒரு சோகம் உருக்குது என்  உளம்புகுந்து
என் தாயின் வேதனைகள் புரிந்தேதான் வாழ்கின்றேன்
என் மகற்கு தாய் தானே தெரியாமல் போய்விடுமா?
நான் பிறந்த நாளில்தான் மறுபிறவி அவளுக்கு
நானிறந்து போனேனே அவள் மறைந்த நாளன்று
அன்னைக்குத் தீவைத்து அழுதாலும் தொழுதாலும்
அன்றைக்கும், வாழும்நாள் முழுநேரம் நினைத்தாலும்
வட்டிமட்டும் கணக்கில் வரும் அசல் என்றோ
பட்டினத்தார் தீர்க்கும் நாள்  சொல்வீரே   -  ரங்கம்

It was this very day in the year 2010, that the blessed lady of the Parasaran family, Srimathi. Saroja Parasaran (fondly called Ammaayi) left for her heavenly abode, leaving behind shattered hearts of her family, relatives, friends and well wishers. Of all the rich tributes she received from everywhere, the title of Annapoorani (the Goddess of plentiful gifts) perhaps summed it up the best. Personally, I lost a great benefactor of my family who I used to fondly address as Periyamma (elder mother).

Parasarans are a well known family within India, particularly in Chennai, Tamilnadu. The head of this illustrious household is Sri. K. Parasaran, Ex Attorney General of India and present MP of Rajya Sabha, an authority on the Indian Constitution. He has an insuperable career track record of having served during the stewardship of many Indian Prime Ministers starting with Smt. Indira Gandhi. His first son, Mohan Parasaran is the present Solicitor General of India. The family boasts of other competent and highly successful legal counsels like Mohan's younger brother Satish Parasaran and nephew Rahul Balaji. Mohan's first son Vishnu is on his way to making his father proud. The Parasarans are a banyan tree with many shoots. But they all derived their source and strength from their root, Saroja aka Ammaayi.

Ammaayi commanded respect and was very popular within her extended family, but held a special place in her heart for my parents. Of her two daughters, the elder Rangam (a natural poetess) and the younger Vasupradha (dancer & lyricist), she enjoyed a special mother-daughter bonding with her elder daughter. Rangam is a veritable library and storehouse of the Parasaran family history, and delectable episodes about each member. Laced with her own brand of self effacing humor, Rangam would recount and regale us about the multi-faceted gem who was Ammaayi, but would invariably end up with tears welled up in her eyes. The quietly charitable nature of Ammaayi, magnanimity as a hostess and being the real boss of her big family would resurface time and again in many of the sweet, long narratives. Ammaayi is blessed with wonderful daughters-in-law, who shoulder the family in the tradition of their loving mother-in-law, and many grandchildren and great grandchildren. In 2011, Rangam organized a musical tribute for her mother.

Ammaayi left this world as gracefully as she found it, having celebrated her golden marriage anniversary and Shathabishekam (80th birth Anniversary). Dignitaries and celebrities poured to the Parasaran home to convey their condolences to a lady who lived with true grit, elegance and grace. For the Tamil film obsessed who may wish to know Ammaayi better, she is the immediate relative of the famous Hassan trio, Kamal, Suhasini and Charuhassan. But she is best remembered by her relatives as the life and soul of the first family of Chennai based legal experts, the Parasarans.

Friday, July 05, 2013

A GRANDPA OF MY MEMORIES

We would hardly hear anyone complain about their grandparents, even if they do so about their parents. I am no exception!

Every memory of a grandparent is always grand and apparent. Especially if it is about someone who is the source of a family's connection to divinity. A grandfather who is God's prophet, an honest and upright lawyer (I do know that is an oxymoron), lover of English literature with phenomenal memory for recitation, indulgent and clowning with his grandchildren. Every letter written to me by Sri. K. Srinivasaraghavan B.A.B.L., my maternal grandpa, would begin with Love, Light, Liberation. It's a blessing that I am able to offer my humble tributes to this towering personality who left us on July 5, 1987.

At 16, he was a muscular and sporty teenager devoid of any signs of a spiritual gift. He was any average iyengar boy just initiated into bachelorhood after his Upanayanam. But amidst all his rambunctious teenage adventures in Pudukkottai Raaja KuLam (tank) with ghosts and fiery deities like the notorious Porpanaiyaan, he was struck with delirium one fateful day when Lord Venkateshwara entered his being and changed his life forever. Since that day, he was God's spoken word for everyone around him who cared to pay heed. The session would start with a divine intuition, after which he would bathe and get ready in front of the hallowed family shrine. Golden letters would be written on his left palm using the right, from which prophecies and solutions to common family problems would flow. Many times his gift was challenged by unbelievers (a Siddha mystic included), only to be rebuked by God during these sessions. I still maintain the notes I took during some of these direct revelations from God, one especially about Markata (Monkey) versus Maarjaara (Cat) Nyaaya (the types of relationship between a devotee and God) and other startling philosophical insights like the creation of the Universe. This divine gift remained with my grandpa until his late 80s. My mom received a similar call in 1971, but implored God to exempt her until later.

He was unsuccessful as a lawyer simply because he was way too honest and cared enough about people to build his fortunes over their misfortunes. But I have been fortunate enough to hear him recite extempore speeches from the works of William Shakespeare and poetry from the likes of John Keats and William Wordsworth. He was yet another motivation (my father being the other) for my love of the English literature. His daily routine of Sri Vaishnava mantras and Azhwar paasurams became a source of inspiration in my effort to learn them. Seated in his chair near the apartment window with a tumbler of water and ThirumaN box, he would elegantly mix the paste and sport a huge naamam on his broad forehead. Then would begin his daily Sandhyaavandanam. It would be treat to watch him hide his hand inside his favorite towel to recite silently the Gayathri Mantra. Finally, he would finish his Nithyanusandhaanam (daily prayers) starting with the recitation of Asmad Gurubhyo Namaha, Asmad Parama Gurubhyo Namaha, Asmad Sarva Gurubhyo Namaha, Srimathe Sri Aathi VaN Sadagopa Yatheendra Mahadesikaaya Namaha.

As a clowning and indulgent grandpa he would narrate the most ridiculous stories, and provide us valuable insights about Carnatic music doyens and great Indians of his times as well. Some of his ridiculous rhymes were:
  • Acchaana Bahuta Aravinda Lahuta Eko Piyaa Mama Te, Ho Ho Mama Te Eko Piya Mama Te
  • Are Chum Chum Chum Pari, Kucha Nacha Nacha Pari, Hara Pari Hara Pari Ha Ha Ha...Ayi Killaayayi (Adi Killathedi)
Whenever my brother and I bothered him, he would retort with a "Pongadaa! Poi pesaama kalyaanam pannindu avaLai konjungo", spitting from his toothless mouth in an attempt to control his mirth. Other times he would narrate a raunchy tale of a local Pudukkottai drama troupe where a clueless singer would start on the wrong note with the audience by singing "Kanaga Rattiname, Unnai Izhutthu Kutthiname", and how the audience pelted stones on that idiot. I didn't care if it was somewhat mature for us at that time. It provided me an affectionate access to my grandpa and took me on a guided tour through the typical South Indian life experiences of his times.

His favorite drink was Complan - "Amma Janakam, Konjam Complan Kudukkariyaa?" he would ask his wife lovingly. Unlike the drink, his life was not completely planned. And of course his immaculate instructions to anyone wanting to visit him in Chennai, would start with the customary "Nera Judge Jambulinga Mudali Street Poi...". All through his life he provided us that steady direction towards divinity but silently, while struggling his 87 years with a leg afflicted by Elephantiasis, caused by a mosquito bite. His was not a charmed life, unlike his more successful peers. But he was a patriot who associated with the great Rajaji (CR), was a gifted spiritual giant and the root of a blessed matriarchal line. And a man who loved his frail, dark skinned, not so good looking wife of 60 golden years so much that he had 8 children through her, out of whom only my mom and her three brothers survived. Incidentally, my grandma is a close childhood friend of the legendary Srimathi M.S. Subbalakshmi.

Monday, July 01, 2013

GOLDEN WEDDING ANNIVERSARY

Hearty Wishes to all couples who celebrate their Golden (50th) Wedding Anniversary this year on July 1. And to others too, whose Anniversary falls on this date.